Um, you're off by a few months...

I swear, someone decided it was April Fools' Day, and didn't tell me.

Here are some of the news stories out there today:

• Jon Gosselin thinks that being on a reality show in the midst of their parents' breakup is detrimental to his children. Nah, you think????
• Someone tried to extort money from Letterman for sleeping with women. Before he was married. Consensually.
• Ted Williams' head is in a cryogenics facility (weird enough right there), and is supposedly being "abused", including having a tuna fish can that was stuck to it (a flaw in the freezing process, perhaps?) beaten off with .... a baseball bat

and best of all...

• Jacques Chirac has had to give away his dog, a Maltese Terrier (little white ball of fluff) because it has become "violent". Apparently the dog has bitten Chirac three times, once in an "unnamed body part". Chirac's wife says the dog is depressed, and is, "finding it difficult to come to terms with leaving the Palace Elysee".

OK, please people. It's just October!