Just a friendly little post

We are coming out of a very disruptive and divisive time in our country; not only the election, but the eight years before it.

I've lost friends because of this. Sometimes because I've chosen to distance myself, either physically or electronically; sometimes because they have.

There's a meme going around the internet right now showing two stick figures. The caption is something along the lines of "Jane and Sally are friends. Jane voted for Trump and Sally voted for Clinton, but Jane and Sally are adults, so they're still friends. Be like Jane and Sally."

The thing is, I'm not always able to be like Jane and Sally.

I strongly believe that we are all entitled to our opinions, and our votes. But, you know, opinions are things like, "Murmur was REM's best album," not things like, "Obama is not a US citizen," or "Obama is a Muslim," or "Climate change isn't real". It is a fact that President Obama is a citizen. It is a fact that he's Christian (for that matter, it's a fact that he could be President if he were Muslim, Budist, Hindu, Jewish, Bahai, Wiccan, athiest, Secular Humanist, or followed the Force). Climate change, and humans' role in it, is accepted fact by the vast majority of scientists - you know, those people who have actually spent their lives studying this stuff, as opposed to the rest of us who need it broken down into tiny little words to understand it.

So, yes, we all have a right to our opinions, our votes, and our political views.

But that doesn't mean I have to like yours. And, honestly, it doesn't mean that I always have to like you (or you me!).

Friendship is based on a multitude of things, and can shift and change over time. I have friends that I've known since I was four, or 18, or 30, or 49. I have friends who are my age, and friends that are significantly older or younger than me. But friendship is also based on shared values. Not utterly, or completely; we are, after all, individuals, and it's doubtful that any two people will share all their values.

But values matter.

President Trump campaigned on hatred and divisiveness. He did. There is no way around that. He called Mexicans rapists and murderers and drug dealers, though he did acknowledge that there were probably some nice ones. He made horrible comments about women, and not only the comments from several years ago. He called women pigs, and implied that their only worth is through their appearance, or that menstruation made them incompetent. He made jokes about sexual assault. He spent eight years perpetuating lies about President Obama. He has a history of shady business dealings, discrimination, and narcissism.

And all of this was brought out before the election. And many people voted for him anyway.

I don't need to know who any of my friends voted for. Votes are private for many reasons, and they should be. And even if I knew, I would not drop a friend because they voted differently than me. I might not necessarily even drop a friend if they voted for Trump.

But, I would take it into account. I would use it as information, along with many other things, to judge if that person shares my core values. A vote, in and of itself, does not make a person. But, it can be looked at in combination with other actions (or inaction), with other comments, with other information.

So, yes, I'm all for unity. I'm all for moving forward. But you don't get to vote for a demagogue and then three months later expect me to be happy. If you voted for him and regret it, say so. Show support for causes like Planned Parenthood, or the Sierra Club, or the Trevor Project, or the National Endowment for the Arts, or any of the many, many organizations that will suffer through the next four years. Speak up when his press secretary lies. Call out his racist or sexist comments. If you want me to believe that your vote for him was not a vote for racism and sexism, show it through your words and actions over the next four years.

Because those of use who did not vote for President Trump are watching.